There are all sorts of silences. There are the comfortable ones, where you’re meandering along in the car with your best friend, each of you content in your own thoughts. There’s the silence of concentration, when all flows inward. And there’s the savoring silence, when you’re in the moment and observation is all—watching that sunset, that child running across the grass—and a single word would be one too many.
And then there’s the silence I inhabited for years, the edgy, uncomfortable silence that comes from unsaid words, unshed thoughts. When talk feels risky, then silence is the coward’s choice. Saying what I felt was, most times, simply not an option I considered; it was a kind of emotional bungee jumping that terrified me […Continue reading here]
Get out and run.
Do not worry about the rest.
Make running a lifestyle. A daily habit, like brushing your teeth. If you run 300+ days a year, every year, for several years, good things will come your way. Start now. Doesn’t matter if you are 16 years old or 66.
If you want to be a decent runner you must get out and run; the rest is just noise.
Get the running in first— that is the foundation. Then: Eat mostly good stuff. Get enough sleep. Stretch if you want to— or don’t. Lift if you like lifting. Cross-train if it makes you happy. Wear minimalist shoes or big bulky ones, whichever you prefer. Listen to music when you run, or not. You can carry water with you on a long run, or you can go without. If you want to do a core routine, then do it— but first you must get out and run.
Run on trails, or streets, or on a treadmill, whatever works for you. Run slowly. Run quickly. Run up hills. Run in the rain. Run in the snow, the heat, the cold. Run into the wind. Run on the days that you do not feel like running. Run on the days that you can’t wait to get out and run. Run with friends. Run alone. Run races. Run in the country. Run in the city. Run in parks. Run when you feel happy. Run when you are depressed. Run when you have a ton of energy. Run when you are feeling like shit. Run when you feel good. Run in the morning. Run at night. Run before work. Run after work. Run.
Finally done with the errands but not with the grocery shopping, might go later on. Ollie has been playing with the cats and his blocks all morning but still chasing the kitties around, Tita doesn’t mind at all, but Guetta (the backyard stray) is still a bit too nervous for Ollie’s super active way of playing. I hope she adjusts well to him, up until now she avoids him.
Latelly I have been noticing that one or both kitties have been marking the house and the smell it’s bothering me and since I can’t find the source it’s even more annoying, we are getting a black light lamp to find the spots and I hope when we spay them this behavior will go away, I don’t remember having issues like these will my other older female cats. I still believe it’s Guetta, since she was born in the streets and raised by a wild cat up until 2 months ago that we brought her inside, first time raising a tamed wild cat, so I’m in a new territory here.
We had a kids free weekend and heck was amazing. I was able to finally finish the book I been reading one chapter a day, wash, fold and put away all the dirty clothes and catch up on some web series. Hubby and I went to the movies, some dinner, and lunch.
It’s nice to feel this relaxed and calm, I guess all I need is some alone time every other weekend to have quality adult time with the hubs, but I miss Ollie so much and we picked him up today and spend the evening playing with the little one. Being a mom it’s amazing, but also having some alone adult time with the hubs just for us. Now time to cuddle with Ollie for sleep time. Tomorrow will be a full day with all the errands I need to do with Oliver.
Lunge with Upper Body Rotation: Take a large step forward with your right foot, lowering into a deep lunge while simultaneously twisting your torso to the right. Hold for a moment, then push off your right foot to bring it back to meet the left. Repeat on the opposite side. That’s one rep. 3 sets of 15 repetitions it’s a good routine for this workout.
Non-Judgemental Stance: Few things can make you feel as human as really feeling listened to, really sensing that the person you are speaking with is connecting, attempting to see through your eyes, and attempting to experience, on some level, your emotions. Without fearing judgment and free to express.
Truly listening is one of the greatest gifts you can give another human being. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) teaches you to listen without judgement by taking a non-judgemental stance. This skill can be helpful when communicating with anyone, where or not they are struggling with a mental illness such as Borderline Personality Disorder or anxiety.
Here are a few tips to help you hone your listening skills so that you, too, can take a non-judgemental stance when talking with others:
1. Physical Cues: As they say, the eyes are the window to the soul. We spend so much time glancing at our phones or being distracted by screens and other background distractions that we often forget to look each other in the eye. Be engaged in listening through eye contact.
2. Patience: Be patient. Don’t hurry the conversation, put words in the other person’s mouth, or push for answers. Let the conversation unfold at its own pace.
3. It’s not a Competition: Think of the conversation as a sort of exploration, a forum without a “winner” or “loser.” Once you pull out of the mindset of one person being right and the other one wrong, listening becomes more natural and communication flows more easily.
4. Open your Mind: Try not to focus on any sort of preconceived notion of what the other person has done “wrong.” Look for and be open to the other person’s perspective. There is no such thing as a true villain; there are only individual perspectives and motivations.
5. Drop your Armour: Try to listen without becoming defensive. Be prepared, to as reasonable an extent as possible, to listen to the other person, even through possible abusive language or any trouble they may be having controlling their emotions.
6. Validation: DBT also teaches the power of validation. Attempt to validate the statements being made and, more importantly, the emotions behind the statements of the person to whom you are listening. For example, if the other person says, “You make me feel dismissed,” instead of defending yourself (see tip above), try validating the statement: “I’m sorry you felt that way. I will have to work on more clearly showing you that I value you.”
Communication is the key to any functioning relationship. It only follows that truly listening, in a non-judgmental way, is the foundation for communication. Learning the Dialectical Behavior Therapy technique of taking a non-judgmental stance can help you to improve your communication and your relationships.